its 1 in the morning.

Hi guys, it’s one in the morning and if you know me, you know that staying up late so is like very weird for me. I’ve had a really hard night, like really hard. I have probably had about three panic attacks about having a scary dream, or about falling asleep and not waking up. but I’m also having a hard time with my relationship with my boyfriend which is fine because it’s part of it’s part of relationships. I have a really hard time directly telling people how I feel, but I usually hint towards it (which doesn't help anyone), it’s hard for me to be like this is how I feel, even to my boyfriend who I’ve been with almost 2 years, but I guess we’re still working on that. I’ve had a hard night. lots of tears for no reason and of course, tears for Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve been craving so much chocolate today. Like I had a full pint of ice cream to cope with all my emotions, that must be so incredibly unhealthy. But yeah, these are just my late-night thoughts and what is happening right now. I’m currently struggling to remember the things that I’ve learned in therapy to get me out of this rut, and I want to be transparent with you all. well, I think I’m gonna try to go to bed because I have a lot of work for tomorrow and sleep is good. Everyone sleep tight don’t let the bedbugs bite and don’t worry about scary dreams like I do. it all be okay.

night!!

xoxo,

ella